Writer, TEDx speaker, and founder of CrownYourself, Coach Kimberly joins us today with an inspiring personal story of ownership, identity, and pattern formation which has helped to shape the way she coaches clients on their own journey of personal growth. Kimberly discusses how she discovered what true personal growth requires and the parts of ourselves that must be faced for change to occur, in addition to practical business advice that spurred her own success story.
Speaker 1: [00:00:14] Three, two, one, lift off! We have a lift off!
Sam Jayanti: [00:00:34] Welcome to this new episode of the Ideamix radio podcast with today’s guest, Kimberly Spencer. I’m your host, Sam Jayanti. On Ideamix radio, we bring you the stories, in their own words, of innovators, founders, coaches and mentors to highlight the lessons and learnings that apply to every single one of us. Kimberly is a coach, writer, entrepreneur, mom and wife. A fun fact you probably don’t know about her was that she was also an actress and a screenwriter with a pretty incredible personal story. She is also the founder of CrownYourself.com. Kimberly, welcome and it’s so great to have you today.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:01:20] Thank you so much for having me, Sam. It’s such a pleasure to be here with you.
Sam Jayanti: [00:01:24] So, Kimberly, you dealt with more than your fair share of challenges growing up. You struggled with some of the implications of those challenges well into adulthood until you figured out how to turn it around for yourself. Tell us a little bit about what you think impacted you the most from your childhood and your growing up experience, and what that conversion to moving away from the trauma and becoming sort of an empowered individual really involved for you?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:01:59] Yeah I mean, I think if you were to ask me who is my most influential person in my life, it was definitely my father, in good ways and in bad ways. I mean, in growing up with him when he was an addict, which he was for all of my life, the last four years of his life he was sober. From the alcohol, which was the big one for me, where I wouldn’t have a relationship with him if he was drinking after 2016. But it really was the ups and downs in the roller coaster and living with that, you’re not quite sure–if you grew up with an addict you’re not quite sure of how to approach or how you have to be in order to receive love. So you learn very quickly on how to adapt your behavior in order to fit, to survive and to receive love. Because we’re wanting both simultaneously. So that’s what I did, I learned how to be a chameleon that manifested into me not really knowing who I was for years. I had the outside persona, the caricature of who I was, of who I wanted everyone to think I was–perfect, put-together, straight-A student, a high achiever–and meanwhile I was suffering on the inside from bulimia and then later getting into really poor choices with relationships and men and choosing really poor partners. And it reflected because those deeper seated beliefs of not being enough, of not feeling worthy, not feeling deserving. Because what happens is, especially with trauma and with high achievers, I didn’t want to be the victim. I really, I grew up thinking I was the victim and damaged and I had that story. And when I wanted to shift that, I really no longer wanted to be the victim. What happened, though, is I still kept myself in the same drama triangle, where I instead just went to becoming the villain. And instead of taking ownership, which is not putting yourself at fault, it’s taking responsibility but it’s not putting yourself at fault. There’s a big difference in the language. I took ownership. I put myself in the space from villain to victim, and I would bounce in between of those. And I was the villain of my life where I must have done something to deserve some of the treatment. I must have done something to deserve it. And that belief really caused me to spiral into guilt and shame and self-punishment and self-loathing for years as an adult. And working through that, I had to learn what actual ownership is. Ownership is grace. It’s saying you’re doing the best with the resources/tools that you have at this point right now. And the other person is doing the best with the resources tools that they have, just some people have crappy resources. My dad’s resource, looking back, I realize that the years that the addiction and the behavior and the abuse was so high and hard for right after the years that he lost his parents. And so I look back at that now, having lost my own parent, my own dad, with so much compassion. Like I didn’t realize it until I was putting together his memorial where I saw the pictures of him drinking and it was bringing back memories and I was like, Oh, he wasn’t like that when I was around like two to three but after four, that was when his mom died. And speaking from someone who was abused by her father, it’s very it’s a complic–if you haven’t done the work and a parent who you love, but who also hurt you profoundly, dies, which his mom abused him, that really can mess with you if you don’t have the good resources. And his resource, his only resource was alcohol. So I look back on that with so much compassion and it really did help shape the journey that I went on. I had to first stop blaming him. I had to start taking ownership of my choices as an adult. I had to recognize, to heal myself from bulimia, that it was never my dad shoving my finger down my throat, it was me. And the thing about blame is when you’re blaming somebody for your upbringing–when you’re like, Oh, well, you know, it’s that person’s fault for making me this way, it’s that person’s fault for how I am, for feeling excluded or whatever, whatever it is that you believe–the problem is is that if you blame them for all the bad, Tony Robbins also says you have to blame them for all the good. And my question is, do you really want to give someone that credit? Because personally, for me, I wanted my recovery to be mine. When I started to look at my choices of who I was choosing as as partners in my early twenties, I had to look and take ownership of those choices that it was never my dad also picking my boyfriends. He didn’t like a lot of them. It was me and I had to take ownership of that. And once I did take ownership of that, that’s when I started to be able to self-assess and ask myself some better questions and look at like, is this ultimately is this really what I want? Is this really, do I want to have an amazing relationship with my body? Do I want to have an amazing relationship with a partner for life? And yes, I did. I just was repeating the same patterns that I saw growing up. So bulimia was just me repeating the pattern of hiding my emotions, shoving them down and then spewing them out. I saw my dad do that with alcohol and drugs. He would hide his emotions, he would boil them down, but eventually we all, I mean, I think many of us, I won’t say we all do, but many of us have gotten to that point where we’ve had one too many and suddenly we become a different person. And that’s what would happen. And so in that space, and that’s when all your unresolved stuff comes up. And so that allowed for being able to take ownership, being able to recognize that it was my choices, my hand shoving my finger down my throat, my choices in men. That was the catalyst of me being able to change, of saying, Well what do I really want then? If I don’t want that, if I don’t want to live in that familiar pattern, what do I want? And as a coach, that’s one of the hardest questions that I ask people because so many people will give me a list of everything that they don’t want. They’ll say Oh, I don’t want to be not fully expressed, I don’t want to hide parts of myself. Well, so what do you want? What’s the opposite of that? And if the opposite of that is oh, you want to be fully expressed, fully embodied, well, that takes a lot of courage if you’re not used to doing it. And that also will go against, initially, that’ll go against your programing for safety because it’s going to feel unsafe. Because for me, I felt safe hiding parts of myself and being like a chameleon in order to receive love, in order to be safe from my dad when when I felt I needed to be safe from him. And so I got used to that. That was just a form of plagiarized programing that I grew up using and I morphed that into my body, I used that in my relationships. And eventually I started to realize, Well, if I really want to have an amazing relationship where I get to fully be me, I have to have the courage to define what I currently perceive to be safe and allow for myself to have the freedom to fully be who I am, to be the “too much” person, to be the woman who goes to the park with her kids in heels because I do. To allow myself to fully be all of those parts of me that I always loved, but never were fully accepted by those that I wanted to love me. And so I would hide those pieces.
Sam Jayanti: [00:10:33] So Kimberly, you described living a life of greater possibility than your present story. So many people, and I’m sure you find this with your coaching clients, are so locked into their present story and the patterns of behavior that repeat historically, that one of the biggest challenges for any individual is breaking those patterns and beginning to see a different version of your life yourself and everything in it. Talk a little bit about how you help clients with that in your coaching practice.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:11:13] So first, I really start with listening to the language, like, what is the story that someone is actually saying? Because like I said in my TED talk, the stories that we tell ourselves are typically the ones that we decided upon with the least amount of conscious awareness and the least amount of intentionality. And so we can be repeating this story in our head that we don’t even realize is true. To give you an example, after I had my first son, and it was about, I’d say, six months to nine months, my business was starting to grow and I was a new mom and that was a struggle, like, embracing that new role
Sam Jayanti: [00:11:58] It always is.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:11:59] It always is. And by being in that struggle, though, I started to concoct this story about my husband not being supportive. I made more money than him, and I was taking care of the baby a lot. But that’s because I wasn’t asking for help. But the story that I was telling myself was a story that I had seen with my mom where she was doing a lot of the work and dad–.
Sam Jayanti: [00:12:27] Of victimhood.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:12:29] The victimhood story of this like, Oh, this is the husband who doesn’t do anything. And we see it play out in media constantly, in TV shows, it’s the husband who’s just laid back on the couch just watching TV and the the woman’s doing all the work. And I was starting to believe this story about my husband, which is ridiculous because my husband does all the cooking. He does all the cleaning. He’s amazing. But I started to tell myself this plagiarized story. And it wasn’t until my coach called me out on it that I was like “oh,” and I had a conversation with Spike, who said “I didn’t know you were struggling. You just seemed like you were handling everything so well” he goes I didn’t want to like you when you get into the flow I don’t want to disrupt you. And I hadn’t been asking for help. I had been hiding how I’d actually been feeling because I’d been trying to prove how mom-preneurish I could be, how like I can do it all, I can have the baby and make the money and do the business, and I was living by this story of proving myself. And like I tell all my clients, you don’t got to prove it if it’s true. It is what it is, if it’s just true. So I got to repair that story with my husband and I started to ask for more support, I started to feel more supported. And so first, when I work with anybody, I really listen to what is a story that they’re telling themselves about why they don’t have what it is that they want, why they aren’t getting the support, why are they stuck, why are they feeling unmotivated. And a lot of times I’ll listen to the first reason, when we’ll dive a little deeper into why they feel that they’re stuck or what they can do. Typically, the first response that a client gives you is going to be crap. It’s going to feel really true for them, but a lot of times it’s going to be crap. Because it’s going to be
Sam Jayanti: [00:14:40] going to be crap in what sense?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:14:41] It’s going to be crap because it’s going to be something that is already within their conscious awareness and their current state of programing. So they’re not really thinking beyond. And if
Sam Jayanti: [00:14:55] it’s superficial, in a sense.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:14:55] It’s a superficial answer. A lot of times it’s going to be, “well, I don’t know.” And as my four-year-old knows very well, I’ll say “unacceptable answer,” like I said it with the question. Because “I don’t know” is a very immediate defensive response that you’re being pushed to that edge of your comfort zone. And so when your client starts saying “I don’t know,” that’s because they’re not wanting to know. That’s their story bumping up against a wall. And so when you actually allow yourself to sit with the question, which is the uncomfortable unknown, and especially if you’re working with clients who, a lot of the times, they’re wanting to be right. I had one client who–my husband does some of the coaching with some of my clients, and he pointed out something that was so powerful for her. And he said, “What is it you’re so scared about being wrong about yourself?” She was so scared to be wrong about who she was that she was holding on to an identity that was no longer serving her. And that’s holding on to a story that was no longer serving her. In order to change your story, you have to be willing to be wrong about who you have been.
Sam Jayanti: [00:16:17] Yes, absolutely.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:16:17] People were holding on to an old identity of wanting to still be something, whether it’s like–and for me, I experienced this with my dad, like the–and I mentioned this in the TED talk–like the little bit, the little last bit of the princess who still just wanted to be needed. Like I had to surrender that story. I had to be wrong about that story because I wasn’t going to go to his rescue again. I couldn’t. And that was something that was hard for me to let go of, because that was a story that I’d always loved, that had connected me to him. And I had to surrender that story in order to have something new, in order to have a new story. And one of the new stories is that now I have a lot more freedom. I have a lot more personal freedom.
Sam Jayanti: [00:17:08] Yeah. Do you do you feel, it almost feels like a generational problem, right, like our parents’ generation and our generation did not really grow up with this idea of transformation, did not really grow up with the concept that you could make your reality and that you had the power to change kind of whatever you wanted, right? Which is sort of very much part of the zeitgeist of today. If I think about my children who are now sort of in their teenage years, I don’t think there’s any doubt in their minds that they can do and be and kind of make their own reality, right? Whereas I definitely didn’t feel like I grew up that way. It sounds like you didn’t, either. Is there a sort of generational shift underway here that this message of empowerment now is so resonant? But our generation had to learn it, and a lot of your coaching of people in this kind of middle-age group revolves around changing that historical set of perceptions to be what it is now.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:18:21] A lot of the work that I do, I work with a lot of Gen-Xers. And like my husband’s a Gen-Xer, I’m a millennial, but I see from a lot of my Gen-X clients that there is another level of like jaded-ness and almost a solidity in who they have been and like, how dare someone try to strip that old identity or those old stories, even when they want to change, even when they really want to change. Like that’s something that has a belonging to them. And it’s interesting because, like, I didn’t grow up with a story of transformation from victimhood, but I did see my parents transform their generational story because everybody on my mom’s side were intellectual in her family. My dad’s side was all military. My parents were the only two people in their generation to start their own business and to become entrepreneurs. And I was raised with a very different mentality that you can create something out of nothing. And so I saw that. I also saw the victim story. So despite their success that they achieved, they still had these other stories that were playing out. The personal transformation is the one that I think is the story that’s currently being rewritten, of really learning how to define yourself for who you want to be, not who your generation is, for defining yourself for how is it that you want to live your life, how is it that you want to experience joy? What is it that actually truly, deeply fulfills you? It was very interesting, like recently, I’ve seen a lot of my friends, colleagues, clients purchasing houses, and I was like, I am so grateful for them. That is the last thing I want right now. And being fully okay that I’m not trying to Keep Up With The Joneses and to prove myself again in buying and needing to buy a house to fit in or be something and hit some certain standard. I see with Gen-Xers more so that there are these pillars, I would say, pillars of success of the checkboxes.
Sam Jayanti: [00:20:50] that define them.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:20:51] Yeah, that define them like you have a certain amount in your investment accounts, you have a house that you own, you’re out of debt. Like these certain checkboxes that they want to check off. And rather than asking like, is that even something I want on my to do list?
Sam Jayanti: [00:21:08] So relationships is something that is such a near and dear topic to me because it drives everything. And I think you agree with that principle, whether it’s personal, or professional, with ourselves, with other people, in just every realm. One of the ways in which you talked about relationships which I thought was super interesting was that as an entrepreneur, that it is no one else’s responsibility but your own to sort of steward and hold a vision I think you called it, of relationships. Tell us a little bit about that. You talked about this in your Forbes article as well. How should entrepreneurs think about that?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:21:56] Everything in life is relationships. We have a relationship with our bodies. We have a relationship with actual people. We tend to perceive that relationships are only what is something that’s a person. And actually like, you have a relationship, like I currently am having a relationship that’s very passionate with my cup of coffee. But we have a relationship with money, we have a relationship with our business, we have a relationship with our bodies. And there is a dialog, and that’s what I like to think of as the co-creation element of you and the possibilities, of you and the universe, you and God’s source, whatever it is that you believe in. But you and possibilities, being able to co-create and envision for a greater future. And like I mentioned with with my Forbes article, called Are You In an “It’s Complicated” With Your Business, is because I was. I was in an “it’s complicated” relationship where I would try to force my business to do things that it didn’t feel aligned. For example, when I first started my coaching business, the standard in the coaching industry was to do 20 minute free calls and then you upsell someone to like a two thousand or five thousand dollar package. And I started doing that. That’s when my business coach said to do, she said start doing your calls. So I would go try to get people on these 20 minute calls and they really wouldn’t lead anywhere. And I would have like a maybe a 20 percent to 30 percent conversion rate, but I just wasn’t seeing the success from it. And I had to look back to the relationship that I had with my pilates business. And I had my pilates business before I knew anything about the mindset of the business owner or anything. I just went like this massive heart of service, I loved my clients and I found a strategy. I just stumbled upon a strategy that worked. And what that strategy was was having a paid initial consult where I would walk someone through, they’d get to feel the feelings of the work in their body, they’d actually get to feel the difference. And then I would upsell them to a package. And I thought, why am I adapting myself to this relationship that I don’t even want to have? It’s kind of like when you’re in a romantic relationship and you’re doing the things that your parents did and you’re like, I didn’t even like that. Like, maybe you always heard your dad refer to your mom as like “the old ball and chain,” and then you start referring to your partner as the old ball and chain. You’re like, I don’t even like, like, when did I decide that this was like, that I want to refer to my partner, my King, my co-leader as “the ball and chain”. And so really looking at what is that relationship as to how you want to define it, as to what really lights up you, from your heart, your soul, your authenticity. And so I modeled that same strategy that worked in my pilates business into my coaching business, and I started to get a 60 to 70 percent conversion rate. And then my my prices went up, so that made it even better. And the beautiful thing was that I wasn’t trying to make my relationship with my business look like what someone else’s relationship with their business is. Like a lot of times, I was working with one of my clients and she was like, why do I have to be on Instagram? And I said, do you like Instagram? Like, is that a place that you like to hang out? And she said, not really. Like she thinks it’s superficial, but she said everyone’s on Instagram. And I said, my coach isn’t. My coach is doing seven figures easy. Not on Instagram, not on social media at all. And so I said, when did you decide that Instagram is like the only way that you need to be visible? Like when did you decide that that was the case? And she had to redefine her relationship with Instagram. Was it even a relationship that she wanted to be in? It’s kind of like when you date, like when everyone expects for the prom queen to date like the quarterback. And meanwhile, what if the prom queen is attracted to the band nerd? And so looking at what are those relationships that you have with social media, what are those relationships that you have with your business, are you trying to make your business
Sam Jayanti: [00:26:21] You do what feels authentic to you, right, in your business.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:26:24] Yeah, and what my client found out was that she loved writing. She built up a massive following through medium that she had totally not paid attention to because she thought that now that she had a business, a coaching business, she needed to be on Instagram where all the coaches were. And I was like, not all the coaches are on Instagram. Not all the coaches are on Facebook.
Sam Jayanti: [00:26:44] Yeah, totally.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:26:46] It really is finding that relationship that works for you, and writing your own rules for your relationship.
Sam Jayanti: [00:26:51] Yeah, which is really sort of finding your balance with authenticity, both for yourself as well as for your business. Authenticity is a word that I personally feel is overused these days and sometimes wrongly used, but I especially was thinking about it as I was thinking about our conversation upcoming yesterday that one of the things you talk about is having the courage to let your old selves die, which I loved, really resonated with me. I’ve had so many different lives, I feel, already, and I guess there must be several more to come. But often people are very reluctant to let these old selves die because they feel in some way that it’s inauthentic or that they are just afraid, I think, to leave a part of themselves behind. Talk a little bit about that and how you view that through the lens of coaching people to get more comfortable with that.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:27:56] Well there is, I think you also have to honor the grieving process. There is a grieving process to who you have been. Like sometimes it feels nice to lean into the victim mindset, and I remember recently, when my dad passed actually, I was in a very negative, complainy space, and rightly so, like no one would have blamed me for that. And I was fully aware that I was in a very “poor me” attitude with a victim mindset. And I told my husband, I said, I know this is not me permanently. I kind of just want to live in this for right now and allow for this like victimy part to be acknowledged. I think that’s the one piece that, especially when you’re coaching someone, allowing for the acknowledgment of the pieces that they don’t really like. Like I don’t like this side of me, the part of me that wants to be a victim. Like, I don’t like that. But in order for it to be not powerful over me, I have to recognize that it’s there, give it a presence, give it a voice and then tell it to sit down. And just basically being able to have that acceptance of like, what are those pieces that you currently are not accepting about yourself? Those pieces that will no longer serve in a new identity. They just will not. Whatever it is, whatever goal you’re going toward–and especially I found this when I became a mom. When I found out I was pregnant, I was currently living in an identity of complete guilt, shame, blame and victimization, believing that I was a victim, that it was my former business partner’s fault for my financial situation and for blaming Oh, if if that hadn’t happened, if I hadn’t been bought out of my e-commerce company, then I would have had success by now. And I had to really surrender that and let it go because I knew that that complainy, blamey, victim version was not the woman, was not the role that was going to be a mother to my child. Period. I was just unavailable for that. So in order to look at, first looking at what you don’t like about yourself, what are those stories that you’re like, Oh, I really don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I want to feel like a victim. I really don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I can be really judgmental. I really don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I’m being incredibly selfish and not thinking about others. Looking at all those pieces, acknowledging them and just accepting that they’re there. You don’t have to do anything about them. You don’t have to fix them. Just accept that they’re there. And then once there’s that acceptance, then you can look at well what is the identity of the role I am leading into, because the role that you are playing currently in the production of your life, when it’s time for that old identity to die, like there is a reemergence of the new role that’s going to need to take place, you need to go from being understudy into being the main character. And so what is the role that you actually need to step into? What are the qualities, the characteristics, who is it that you need to become, rather than what other things do you need to do or what other things you need to add to your to-do list? The doing follows the becoming. So when you’re able to look at what is the role that you want to elevate into, so for example, the role of “broke solopreneur” back in 2016 when I first heard my business, I was very comfortable playing that role. I was very comfortable playing that role. The role of mom scared the life out of me. And I knew that the mother that I wanted to be for my children, I wanted to show them what’s possible. I wanted to show them a strong woman and I wasn’t being strong. I was being very cowardly. I was hiding and I was constantly doubting myself. So I had to look at what are the qualities of the role that I actually need to lean into. The same is true when you’re like, when I was reprograming my mindset around my body image after 10 years of bulimia. I had to look at what is the role of the “healthy person,” like the leader, the person who people were then looking to–because I was teaching pilates–my clients were looking to me to guide them with fitness, and I was being quite the hypocrite, going into the bathroom to throw up my food. So I had to look at like, what is the role of the leader and how can I be in integrity with that role? And so really looking at what are those parts of yourself that are no longer in integrity with the role that you’re leveling up to.
Sam Jayanti: [00:33:03] Yeah. I mean, what’s fascinating also, I think, about what you’re saying, is that the catalysts that cause us to reevaluate and change are unique and different for every single one of us. In your case, it was motherhood. In many people’s case, it’s motherhood. But for other people, those catalysts are different and distinct things,
Kimberly Spencer: [00:33:23] Yeah and it can be something like a money goal, too. I mean, the version of me who is making five figures is very different than the version of me who’s making six, and it’s going to be very different than the version of me who’s making seven. And that’s the part that I think we get to fall in love with, is allowing the transformation and allowing for the emergence of the role of the phoenix rising from the ashes, of allowing for that greatness to really shine through.
Sam Jayanti: [00:33:57] I agree with you. I love the phoenix analogy. So we’re going to do a mini coach me session. Pretend I’m your client. I’ve come to you for coaching and how would you coach me? I’m all yours.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:34:13] Awesome! Well Sam, what do you want right now?
Sam Jayanti: [00:34:24] I feel I am struggling with identifying the right path with making my business succeed.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:34:39] So where do you want to see your business? What would you love to see in the next year as we’re coming up on twenty twenty two?
Sam Jayanti: [00:34:50] I would love our product platform, you know, intermediating coaches and people looking for coaching to really succeed, both for the B2C consumer as well as in the B2B business. And there are lots of paths to get there. And some of what’s overwhelming is that there’s so many different paths to go down. It’s almost like, how do you pick the right ones?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:35:23] So I want you to imagine with me that it is December 2nd, 2022 next year and you call me up and you say, “Holy shit, Kim, that conversation changed everything. This is what happened.” And go.
Sam Jayanti: [00:35:57] Which conversation, though?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:35:59] So this conversation that we’re having right now.
Sam Jayanti: [00:36:01] Right now, OK.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:36:02] So I want you to imagine, one year from today, December 2nd, 2022. You call me up and you say, “Holy shit. You will never believe what has happened.”
Sam Jayanti: [00:36:26] Kim, I can’t believe that we accomplished so much in one year, where we had such strong user growth and we were able to help so many people because they actually found the coaches that were right for them and we were able to serve our coaches by connecting them with the right coachable clients.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:36:53] And how did you do that?
Sam Jayanti: [00:36:56] We did it through our product platform because we understood what clients were looking for and we understood what coaches were looking for and what their areas of specialization and expertise are, and were able to make those matches and ensure that there was a good fit between the two in a really seamless way.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:37:16] And how did you have this exponential growth?
Sam Jayanti: [00:37:22] The first initial customers that use the product were so happy with their experience of the coaches, they found the work they were able to do with the coaches and how it was transformative for them in their personal, professional or entrepreneurial business lives, that they went off and talked about the platform. And that was the most powerful marketing tool we could possibly have wished for.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:37:49] What else did you do?
Sam Jayanti: [00:37:54] We really served our constituencies. We made sure that coaches and clients both had an amazing user experience on the platform, and both got what they came for, in a sense, and that they felt like we were in their corner. They could share feedback with us super honestly and that we would actually react and steward that set of interests and goals.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:38:27] Do you feel how the difference in your body language shifted from looking back on it from the past rather than from the would-like perspective?
Sam Jayanti: [00:38:40] Yes.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:38:42] Yeah. You literally went from like leaning back like this, and there was a bit dimmer light in your face to being brighter, you’re more on the edge of your seat, there’s more possibility literally flowing through your body right now.
Sam Jayanti: [00:38:57] Yeah, that is definitely true. Because it’s super exciting to be able to accomplish that.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:39:04] Yeah. So if you had an income goal that you’re going for, what is that income goal that you’re looking to achieve in the next year?
Sam Jayanti: [00:39:16] Gosh, that’s a hard question. I think that we get to a six figure income goal. Definitely.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:39:27] Specifically, like, what would that be?
Sam Jayanti: [00:39:35] That we have a volume of transactions that gets us to half a million dollars in revenue.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:39:42] Half a million in revenue. Awesome. When you see half a million in revenue, do you have a picture?
Sam Jayanti: [00:39:54] Yes, in terms of where it’s going to come from, how we’re going to get there?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:39:58] No, in terms of like the results of actually having, like how will you know when you’ve achieved half a million dollars in revenue.
Sam Jayanti: [00:40:12] We would have been totally overwhelmed by all aspects of the business but see that in a really tangible way and being able to make the connections between coaches and clients that we want to, both on the business side as well as the consumer side. And we’ll see high customer satisfaction. I think that’s really where we’ll see it, other than the numbers.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:40:38] Yeah, I’m looking for a specific picture for you. So for you, do you have a specific image? Like do you remember the day your daughter was born?
Sam Jayanti: [00:40:50] Yes.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:40:51] So that’s a very specific image, like you remember very specifically about that experience.
Sam Jayanti: [00:40:59] Yep.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:41:01] Do you feel, do you have an image, similarly, about the day that your business hits half a million dollars?
Sam Jayanti: [00:41:12] We’ll be celebrating internally with our team, I guess.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:41:17] Awesome. So I want you to just imagine for a moment, allow yourself to close your eyes for a moment and see what that looks like. See what you saw. Hear what you heard. And feel the feelings that you just achieved half a million dollars in one year.
Sam Jayanti: [00:41:54] Yeah, I see it and feel it and visualize it
Kimberly Spencer: [00:41:58] OK, so allow yourself to hold on to that and then stay in it, so go back, stay in it. I mean, you just achieved half a million dollars in your business, like don’t you want to stay in that moment like for a hot second, just like when you held your precious baby girl for the first time and you’re like, Oh my God, I want to live in this moment forever. So allow yourself to be fully in that moment right now. And, as you’re seeing yourself celebrating with your team, what is it that you say to them that was the one thing that you did all year that made 90 percent of the difference. The one thing that you did.
Sam Jayanti: [00:42:51] Me personally?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:42:53] Yes, you personally. There’s nobody else here that I’m coaching,
Sam Jayanti: [00:43:02] That we that we kept the interests of clients and coaches at the very forefront throughout.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:43:12] And what else?
Sam Jayanti: [00:43:18] That we communicated well, we worked super well together as a team and that that culture of service and working well as a team was sort of at the foundation of who we are and our brand.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:43:35] How does that feel for you?
Sam Jayanti: [00:43:38] Really, really good.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:43:44] So you can open your eyes, unless you want to stay there longer.
Sam Jayanti: [00:43:47] Yeah, that was good. It’s great. That was great.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:43:53] Do you feel you have a bit more clarity about what needs to be done in order
Sam Jayanti: [00:43:58] To get there? Yes.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:44:03] And what is one specific action step that you can take? Today.
Sam Jayanti: [00:44:12] I think in the immediate term it is exposing our platform to as many people as we can and.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:44:25] what does that look like, specifically? What does that mean to expose the platform to as many people as possible?
Sam Jayanti: [00:44:30] To really have a smart marketing strategy that’s built on both digital/paid, but also referral and organic-based methods, so that awareness is just rising over the course of this next 12 months.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:44:53] Anything else that you need to do, specifically, today? But it’s something that one thing–an email to send, a podcast to reach out to, a former client, an influencer–what is one specific thing that you can do today that your future self that already achieved that half a million dollars was celebrating with her team, she already did that. She did that one year ago today, actually.
Sam Jayanti: [00:45:31] I think that one thing is to send an email to some of our closest clients. Yeah.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:45:38] Awesome.
Sam Jayanti: [00:45:41] That was great. That was super helpful. Thank you.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:45:45] You’re very welcome. I’m going to hold you to that to send that one email.
Sam Jayanti: [00:45:51] What’s that?
Kimberly Spencer: [00:45:51] I’m going to hold you to it, to send that one email!
Sam Jayanti: [00:45:54] You are and I am going to send that email. Absolutely. But thank you so much, really wonderful to have you on the show. And super excited to chat again.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:46:09] Awesome. Super excited to chat again, and I honestly am so excited to celebrate with you on your day.
Sam Jayanti: [00:46:17] I’m looking forward to that. That’ll be amazing.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:46:19] Oh, it’s going to be a great day.
Sam Jayanti: [00:46:23] Okay. All right. Have a great rest of your day and great to chat.
Kimberly Spencer: [00:46:29] Thank you so much. It’s been a pleasure.
Sam Jayanti: [00:46:31] Likewise. Thanks for listening today. You can subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. And while you’re there, please do review the show. We love hearing from you, so e-mail us at email@example.com or Instagram DM us. Our episode this week was produced by the incomparable Martin Malesky, with music by the awesome Nashville based singer-songwriter Doug Allen. You can learn more about Doug at DougAllenMusic.com.
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