Coach Amy’s 12-week program empowers individuals going through separation and divorce. Unlike counseling, which focuses on the past, Coach Amy’s coaching approach focuses on the future. Her process includes building confidence and redefining how you speak to yourself. Through her guidance, you can navigate divorce and discover your true self outside of a partnership. Tune in to hear her empowering advice on overcoming the challenges of separation and finding your footing in this new chapter of your life. Don’t miss out!
Speaker 1 [00:00:00] Successful individuals use coaching and mentorship to help them unlock their potential. Not all coaches are created equal and that’s why we work with the top 5% of coaches at ideamix. Welcome to coaches you need brought to you by ideamix.
Jamie [00:00:14] Welcome to coaches to know a short podcast by Ideamix radio. This brief podcast is designed to demystify coaching and help you, our audience, understand what coaching is and how it can help you. I’m your host, Jamie. And today I’m here with Coach Amy to discuss divorce coaching. And very briefly, I’m going to introduce Coach Amy. She has been coaching for three years. And not only is she a coach who has experienced a divorce herself, but she is trained in hypnotherapy emotional freedom technique or FTE and neuro linguistic programing or NLP. And we are going to delve into what those techniques look like and how she integrates them with her coaching today. Her clients are people who are going through a separation or a divorce and they’re looking to transform their lives following that of. So welcome, Coach Amy, thank you for joining us here today. I look forward to discussing this, to discussing with you what is divorce coaching and in particular what how and how does it differ from divorce counseling? Because I feel as if divorce counseling has been a known thing and been around for a long time. But why don’t we just start today with what is divorce coaching?
Coach Amy [00:01:43] Awesome Well, thank you for having me, Jamie. I really appreciate it. It’s lovely to be here. So divorce coaching can take on a number of different guises. I guess different divorce coaches do divorce coaching differently, but I would say it predominantly focuses on the future. So your future life that you want to get to post your divorce or separation. Sometimes counseling or therapy can obviously focus on what has happened going through that, and there is an element of that in coaching. But coaching is far more future focused on where you want to be and how you can can get there than necessarily focusing on the past. There are a couple of different divorce coaching techniques. Some people focus on the practical elements of divorce, so some divorce coaches will support you in talking to your lawyer. They will support you in mediation, they will support you in the practical elements of going through a divorce. And then other divorce coaches and I include myself in this section are much more emotional kind of future focused technique, action planning coaches who don’t have any legal background. You know, I have no legal background whatsoever. I don’t know the ins and outs of the legalities of divorce, but it’s much more about focusing on the individual and the feelings that you are having around your divorce and separation and how to move forward from that. I think one thing I like to tell all of my clients and something that we don’t talk about enough is that divorce is a grief. It is the loss of someone from your life, whether you instigated that divorce and he wants it to happen or the other party did. Regardless, it is a grief and a loss because you have had that person in your life for however many years you’ve been been together and perhaps overnight, especially if you don’t have children together, you may never see that person again. And so we just don’t talk enough. I think, as a society about that being a grief and a loss and how to manage and deal with that. And that’s what I do in my divorce coaching.
Jamie [00:03:54] Thank you so much for that explanation. And I just. Just to clarify, so, you know, as we see actually this, we did actually earlier a podcast on what is the difference between therapy and coaching. And I like your explanation of of thinking about what is the difference between counseling, divorce counseling than in divorce coaching, because divorce coaching is really it’s on visioning. It’s on seeing yourself in a different place and not greatly focused on how did I get to this certain point. It’s maybe there’s elements of that that we that you sort of sought out but it’s really focused on that element of progress, of movement forward to a point where you want to go rather than on why you are where you are. So that.
Coach Amy [00:04:49] Yeah, exactly.
Jamie [00:04:51] It’s also it’s quite interesting to hear that there’s two different sides of divorce coaching, which is the practical, as you said, and then the emotional, which is really where you are there to support your client’s in that emotional side. And you know, I have to I completely agree with you. I think there’s a lot about hardships in general in our society that we tend to try to gloss over and not acknowledge, including the grief of loss of a partner and not by death, but through a divorce or separation, which is which causes some, you know, a need to move forward and transform. So thank you so much for that explanation. I think it’s very clear what the differences are. So, you know, you said that you help your clients basically find a vision and then develop an action plan. So can you talk us a little through the nuance of how you do that with your clients?
Coach Amy [00:05:55] Yeah. So I run a 12-week program where we spend the first six weeks looking at where they are today, what was brought them to this moment in time, not just around their divorce or separation, but more broadly, because a lot of our life, in general, is obviously impacted by a divorce. And then we spent the second six weeks looking at the future. Where do they want to be in a year, five years, ten years, and how can we go about making that happen for them? I talk about in my program feeling lost and broken at the end of or at the beginning of a divorce or separation and going from feeling lost and broken to powerful and complete by the end of it. So many clients that I work with, it’s almost impossible to not feel a bit lost and broken when you’re going through a divorce rate is such a critical relationship in your life to lose. And so people can feel as though they just don’t know where to go. They don’t know what they want the future to look like and how to get there. And so it’s my job as a coach to help them understand that in themselves and come to those conclusions and then figure out with them how they’re going get that amazing new life and feel excited and positive about the future because it really can be such a better life than, you know, even before.
Jamie [00:07:21] That’s great. That’s amazing. You know, one of the questions I have in my head, actually, that popped in as you were talking about, how you help people figure out what it is they want in five or ten years. I think really part of that is helping people find their identity again as an individual versus as a person and a partnership. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that visioning is Let’s get you visioning about who? Who is the person you want to be as a whole, complete individual rather than as a person in a partnership? So. So set your own vision and let’s put the partnership aspect aside. But I imagine that one of the challenges and, you know, to this process is really getting to the point where you are, this is who I am and this and I’m standing behind it wholeheartedly. So talk about I don’t know a little bit about the challenges of going from this mentality of partnership to individual.
Coach Amy [00:08:32] Yeah. So you’re spot on. It’s a lot about confidence. And many, many people’s confidence is shattered post-divorce. I haven’t met a client yet whose confidence hasn’t been at least dented by divorce because it’s. It’s almost seen as a failure. Right. You feel like I have failed in some way because I haven’t been able to keep this relationship together. And so we work on confidence as a baseline throughout my course because I think it’s so, so important. So we go from feeling as though I failed to know the relationship failed. I didn’t feel as an individual, it failed. And building those kinds of cornerstones of confidence is something that I am, you know, really, really passionate about because I think it impacts all elements of life, not just, you know, going through the divorce and coming out, you know, the other side of that really positively. And you mentioned at the beginning that I used a couple of other techniques that I’m qualified in alongside coaching, and that’s when they really come into their own. So, for instance, neuro-linguistic programming is really the study of how our thoughts affect our behavior. So, you know, if you think something, you act in a certain way and therefore there will be an outcome associated with that behavior. Right. So if we can work on changing our thoughts, we can therefore impact the behaviors that we have in life and therefore the outcome that we want to get. So a good example of that is, you know, I’m not good enough. Everything, everything bad always happens to me. Well, if you think that you act accordingly and if you act like everything bad always happens to me, you know, nothing ever goes right for me, then the outcome will, of course, be a self-fulfilling prophecy that, you know, nothing goes right for you and you will look for the things in your life that aren’t going well and you won’t focus on the things that are going well. So I work with my clients on neuro linguistic programming behaviors such as affirmations, you know, real confidence-building techniques, journaling to really get to the bottom of, you know, any areas of a lack of confidence and how to how to improve those through our thoughts, which will impact our behavior. And so, yeah, that’s that’s the most important thing, I think, is that confidence, that underlying confidence.
Jamie [00:10:49] Thank you for sharing that. And I, I think as a society in general, we oftentimes underestimate how we the way we think does become a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I think coaching is a great way to be able to take a step back, become self aware of what are the narratives in your head and to start with a process of reframing, which is it sounds like that’s what you help people do, is reframe exactly where their focus is. So that’s what’s amazing. And I love how confidence is at the core of what you bring, how through your process you help bring to your your clients. Yeah, it’s amazing and will take them far, I believe. Well, Coach Amy, that is all the questions that I have for you today. Thank you so much for your time today. I really feel like I have a much better grasp of what divorce coaching is and what it can do. And I will say to our audience, if you would like to work with Coach Amy or any one of our other qualified coaches on ideamix, please visit us at the ideamix.com. And thank you for listening today.
Speaker 1 [00:12:15] Thanks for listening. Please subscribe wherever you listen and leave us a review. Find your ideal coach at www.theideamix.com. Special thanks to our producer Martin Malesky and singer songwriter Doug Allen.
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